<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>The Outsiders: Johnny's Story by boom_butterfly_effect</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27197495">The Outsiders: Johnny's Story</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/boom_butterfly_effect/pseuds/boom_butterfly_effect'>boom_butterfly_effect</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Outsiders - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate POV, Alternate Universe - Canon, Canonical Character Death, Gen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 17:07:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,333</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27197495</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/boom_butterfly_effect/pseuds/boom_butterfly_effect</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Johnny Cade was Ponyboy's best friend in the book/movie "The Outsiders". He even committed murder to save his life. But what about his story? It has never been told.<br/>Johnny was 16 and living with his parents in Tulsa, Oklahoma. His mom, a drunk. His dad, abusive. He had to survive all the things that come with being a greaser. When Johnny kills Bob, it sends him and Ponyboy on an adventure to Windrixville. What happens to him?<br/>Read this to discover the other side of The Outsiders :)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is a re-upload. Originally posted in June/July 2012 on Wattpad by me (@OutsidersAddict98). Has been lightly edited just for grammar. Hope you enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It was just another day, unlike any other. I was walking home from grabbing some lunch and thought I would go home and at least try to get some sleep. I had been exhausted ever since I started having nightmares and was afraid to fall asleep. I walked in the door and noticed my dad was still at work and my mom was passed out on the couch with a beer in her hand and an empty pile on the couch next to her. She had been drinking all day and the house had a stench of alcohol. I noticed the TV was on so I quietly went to turn it off so it would be quiet enough to sleep. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As I reached for the switch, I heard a yawn and my mom woke up. She looked at me and her eyes turned into flaming red. She threw her bottle at me and it hit the floor in front of me. I went to grab the broom to sweep it up, but just as I grabbed it, she took it out of my hand and raised it like a baseball bat. She then went on to call me every unprintable name that she could think of. I knew I had only one option, run. I knew if I didn't run, I would get beaten so badly that I would be bruised for weeks. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I felt the fear creep up on me and I was slightly shaking. She couldn't tell, but I was terrified. As I ran out the door, she grabbed my jacket and I tripped down the stairs. She then continued to hit me with the broom and I looked up and saw a red Corvair drive by. Inside I could easily see 4 or 5 Socs inside.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I am a greaser. We wear leather jackets, jeans, boots or tennis shoes and live on the East side of town. We grease our hair which got us the name "greaser". The Socs are our biggest fear. Their name "Soc" is short for Social, which implies they are very popular. They are the rich kids that live on the West side of town and wear madras and drive Mustangs and Corvairs. They enjoy jumping us for fun and seeing that car driving by, I knew they were up to no good. I had to warn my gang somehow. I couldn't stand to see one of them get beat up, or even killed. That meant I had to escape my mom. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Luckily, Two-Bit, one of my gang, came by and helped me away from my home. I took off running with Two-Bit to my friends Sodapop, Darry, and Ponyboy's house that was a couple blocks from my home. I reached there in record time. I caught my breath as I ran in the house and asked where Ponyboy was. Darry, Ponyboy's oldest brother, said that he had gone to see a movie. I told him about the Socs, and we all heard a faint scream from the alley down the street. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sodapop, Ponyboy's second oldest brother, and his best friend Steve heard my warning because they were sitting in the living room at the time. Two-Bit was the first to reach the Socs car and grab the collar of the Socs who were trying to drive away. Sodapop, Steve, and Dally followed closely behind, all trying to beat up the Socs. Darry stopped to confirm my fears, Ponyboy had gotten jumped and was laying there, bleeding from his neck where the Socs had cut him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>My face said it all, I was scared for my life and Ponyboy's. Darry shook him and he woke up, almost in tears. The Socs got chased away and the gang slowly walked back to the Curtis brother home. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Darry was yelling at Ponyboy for walking alone without a switchblade. Sodapop was trying to defend him. They all get along pretty well as far as I know. I started to the front door when I heard Dally call my name. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Johnny, man," I always listened to Dally. He is my hero, "How you doin?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Things would be a lot better if the Socs stayed on the West side of town,” I said, aggravated by the fact they spent so much time over on the East side causing trouble. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Steve assured me, " We're gonna have it out with them sooner or later." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then Soda and Steve went over and sat on a car and Dally looked back at me. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Were those the same guys that got you?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I had been jumped badly by a group of Socs. It was 4 months ago in mid spring time. I had gone to my outfit's hangout, the lot, to get our football. As I was walking out, a blue Mustang pulled up and 5 Socs got out. I was scared more than I had ever been in my life. I didn't know what they could do to me. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They started with threats that made me choke up and my heart sink. They grabbed me and one of them slugged me multiple times across the face. They then dropped me on the ground and kicked me around like I was a soccer ball. They then resumed holding me down and slugging me many more times. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The final hit had left a deep scar from my temple to my cheek from one of the Soc's rings. The others threatened me and hit me which had only added to my fear. It occured to me that they could kill me if they wanted. I had thought about killing myself, but I didn't want to die this way. I started to tear up, but I wouldn't give them the satisfaction of seeing me cry. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Many hits and kicks later, they left me there as quick as they had come. I laid there moaning from the bruises and cuts in the fetal position. Within a few minutes, the gang had found me. Sodapop reached me first and grabbed me in a big bear hug. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He assured me that I would be okay. I tried to explain what had happened, but I just bursted into tears. It was like a dam had released all the water it withheld. I tried to say something, but nothing would come out, I only cried. Through the blurry tears, I could only see Dally crying. Had I looked so bad that he couldn't contain his emotion? He had seen people get killed in New York, why was he upset now?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I finally got the strength to calm down and explain what happened. I would never let that happen to me again. I now carry a 6 inch switchblade in my back pocket. Nobody will ever hurt me like that again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I looked back to remember what color the Corvair was and I said, "Nah, there were other guys." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dally looked at me and pointed to the scar on my left cheek. "Now that I'm out, I'm gonna make it my business to get the guy who did that to your face."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I felt sorta relieved knowing that Dally was going to try to get the Socs. Dally would make sure they never touched me again. The rest of the gang went on to talk about plans for tomorrow. I didn't know what I wanted to do. Steve and Soda were going out with their girlfriends and Two-Bit was getting drunk. I figured I would not do anything but when I least expected it, Ponyboy told Dally that we would go with him to the movies.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I didn't have the nerve to tell Ponyboy and Dally that I didn't want to go, so I just kept my mouth shut and stood there while I waited for someone to do anything. Two-Bit asked for a push-start to his car, which was always breaking. He drove off and Steve went to work. Darry and Soda went inside and I stood there with Pony and Dally and noticed that Dally was wearing his ring that he rolled a drunk for a few months ago. I knew that he had given it to his girlfriend, Sylvia, and only wore it when they broke up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I see you got your Christopher back Dal."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Little broad was two-timing me again when I was in jail, man. It's cool. See you guys later."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sylvia was always cheating on Dally when he was in jail. One time she even tried to make a move on me. Two- Bit yelled at her and said if she ever tried something again, he'd beat the tar out of her. Then he and I had a long talk about tricky little broads like her. Ever since then, I haven't really talked to girls much. I sat down on the porch and Darry called for Pony to go inside and do homework.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Goin home, Johnny Cade?" Pony asked</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Mmm... I don't know."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Alright, see you later."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ponyboy went inside and I figured I may as well go on home. I started my walk by kicking a can that was sitting in the backyard. I kicked it all the way home and walked inside the house. My parents were fighting, as usual. I cautiously walked in the house. My dad was the first to see me. His eyes were two balls of fire. Staring at me like I had done something that was worth a beating. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The next thing I know, he is grabbing my collar and punching my face. I didn't even shed a tear. I had to digest that my parents hate me and I am just a huge disgrace. I don't deserve to live because all I do is cause my parents trouble. Sometimes I wish I was dead. The way my parents treated me had forced me to become that way.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I had zoned out on the beating. Finally, my dad just threw me on the ground and left me there. I was bleeding from my face, but I didn't know where. I was bruised on my cheeks where he belted me most often. I felt too weak to get up and crawl to my bed, so I just laid there and eventually fell asleep.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The next day, I woke up to the scene that I saw the day before. My dad was at work, my mom was passed out on the couch, the TV was on, and there was a pile of empty beer bottles. I decided not to touch anything and risk getting the same treatment again. So I spent most of the day walking around with nowhere to go. After a while, I went to Ponyboy's house to pass time. We hung out at his house until we were supposed to meet Dally at the corner of Pickett and Sutton. We walked up to him and he was smoking a cigarette. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"So what are we gonna do now Dal?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Nothing legal, man. Let's get out of here."</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>We started walking to the drive-in, but it was too light outside for us to sneak in. We could just pay a quarter to get in and sit there with everyone else, but Dally hated to do things the legal way. So we walked around town and stopped by The Dingo. That is a popular place for greasers to hang out at, so the place was filled with people. Before we left, we watched a greaser and a Mexican hitchhiker start to fight. The hitchhiker pulled out a switchblade and that is when we decided to leave. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As it started getting darker out, we walked through the lot, my outfit's favorite hangout. We chased away a few middle school aged kids and finally made it to the drive-in. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There is a hole in the fence where we climbed through. We walked to the seats for the people who didn't come in a car and wanted to sit down. I saw Dally eye two Socy girls that were seated in the front row. I could tell he was gonna try to mess with them, and I was right.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dally sat down right behind one of the girls, a redhead. Dallas may only be 17, but he can sure talk dirty. He leaned forward and whispered so loudly that me and Pony could easily hear him. What he said kinda made me want to barf. I may be 16, but that kind of language doesn't appeal to me at all. She looked at him with an icy cold stare. He leaned back and put his feet up on the back of her chair. She snarled at him and said,</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Get your feet off my chair and shut your trap."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He smirked, "Yeah? Who's gonna make me? Your boyfriend?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I was not in the mood to hear more fighting, so I got up and went to the concession stand to get a Coke. The line was super long so I stood there for a while. After coming back, I noticed Dally was gone. I returned to my seat and tried to enjoy the movie like everyone else. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After a few minutes, Dallas came back with some Cokes. He handed one to each of the girls and sat down next to the redhead, whose name I discovered was Cherry. She looked at him with flaming red eyes that matched her hair and threw her Coke in his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Maybe that will cool you off, greaser. And when you learn to talk and act decent I might cool off too!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I saw the look in Dally's eyes and I was afraid for what he may do to Cherry.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Fiery, huh?! Just the way I like 'em." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I knew he would hurt Cherry if someone didn't do something. I finally got the courage to say something.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Hey, leave her alone Dal."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looked at me with a surprised face and let go of Cherry. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"What did you say? What did you say you little...." Dally went on to call me so many names that I lost count. Nobody talked like that to Dally, and I was personally surprised that I said it. He stormed off and didn't come back. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Now he's gone," I said in a muffled voice trying to reassure the girls. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Cherry sighed in relief, "Thank you. You had no idea how scared I was."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You sure didn't show it. No one talks to Dal like that."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"From what I saw you do," She smiled at me.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Out of nowhere, the other girl sitting next to her started to talk.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You guys should come and sit up by us to protect us."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I looked at Ponyboy for an answer. I didn't know if we should sit by them or not. He nodded at me and we got up to sit next to them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He sat next to Cherry and I sat next to the other one. I found out her name was Marcia. We all sat there watching the movie, when all of the sudden someone comes up behind me and screams, "Alright greaser, that's enough!", </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I saw a switchblade and was scared that it may be one of the Soc's boyfriends. I felt my face go white and I looked behind me and saw that it was only Two- Bit messing with us. He handed me a beer and told me to have a sip to settle my nerves. I just sat it down on the ground, because although most of the boys in my neighborhood drink, I was not interested in getting drunk. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I started to watch the movie again. Two-Bit and Marcia were hitting it off, and Ponyboy and Cherry went to get some Cokes and popcorn. After the movie ended, we convinced the girls to let us walk them home. It was getting dark and I was asking Marcia how they ended up at the drive-in alone, considering they were Socs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"See what happened was that we were with our boyfriends. Cherry hates it when Bob, her boyfriend, drinks. She got extremely mad at him when she found that he had brought booze. As her best friend, when she stormed off, I followed behind. My boyfriend, Randy, and Bob had become angry and drove off. And that is when you guys came in."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"So your boyfriends don't know you met us?," I was kinda afraid of what she would say.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Not at all."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Well," I said," wouldn't they be mad if they saw us with you?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I don't know," she paused for a moment and continued,"I suppose they might be a little..."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Right as she said that, we heard tires on the gravel behind us. I felt my heart pound as I heard it get closer. I turned around and it was the same blue Mustang that had pulled up by the lot. My heart was pounding and my palms were sweating. Luckily for us, the Mustang just kept on driving by. I guess they didn't see us there, because Cherry had said that it was their boyfriends in the car. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Pony and Cherry had stopped up so me, Two-Bit, and Marcia went up to meet them. As we got close, I heard Ponyboy say, "He ain't like Soda and he sure ain't like me. He hates me. I bet he wishes he could stick me in some boys home, but Soda won't let him."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Two-Bit heard that last sentence and was confused, "What are you talking about, boy?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I was just as confused as Two-Bit and piped in, "Yeah, I thought y'all got along real well."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Well we don't. And you can just shut up Johnny Cade 'cause we all know you ain't wanted at home either, and you can't blame 'em."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Two-Bit smacked Ponyboy across the face and told him to shut up. Then Pony apologized to me for saying that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Nah man, it's true."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Two-Bit wanted to cheer me up, "Nah Johnny, you know we couldn't get along without you."</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>I knew he was lying. They wouldn't care if I just died all of the sudden one day. They could move on. This was the first time I had ever thought about it.  Maybe I could kill myself and nobody would care. Maybe Ponyboy would, because he was the only one I talked to. Nobody else would care. They would all just harden up and continue their lives and I would just be another tombstone in a graveyard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before I knew it, I heard that tire on gravel sound. I knew exactly who it was before I even turned around to see what it was. I knew it was Bob and Randy coming to get their girls and beat us up for talking to them. My mind was struck with fear. I felt paralyzed as I turned around to see 2 Socs standing there. One was tall wearing a red madras jacket and the other had a yellow sweater and a wine colored madras ski jacket on. They were madder than I had ever seen anyone be. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sound of the first Soc, who I assumed was Bob, cut into my fear, "Cherry, what's going on? What are you doing?," He said in sorta a high pitched voice, "Just because we got a little drunk...."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"A </span>
  <em>
    <span>little</span>
  </em>
  <span>? You call reeling and passing out in the streets 'a little'? Bob I told you before, I'm never going out with you when you're drinking and I mean it!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bob took a drink from his circle flask. Randy looked at Cherry, "That's no reason to go walkin the streets with these bums."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Who you callin bums pal?" Two-Bit said furiously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You," Randy yelled at Two-Bit as he took the jacket off of Marcia and pushed her away from him, "Look we got two more of us in the back seat."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Two-Bit grabbed a glass bottle, hit it against the fence and tossed it to Ponyboy. Then he flicked out his black-handled switchblade. I, however, was still standing there in fright. I looked at Bob's rings and knew immediately that he was the one who had beat me up so badly 4 months ago. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well then pity the back seat!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After that, it was all screams between Randy and Two-Bit that were so jumbled together, I couldn't make out what each one was saying. Out of nowhere, Cherry screams out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Alright, alright. We'll go with you just... hold on a second."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She went off to the side and talked to Ponyboy for a while and then got in the car with the Socs and they drove off. The whole time I was just standing there in terror and trying to hide my face from them. After they left, we all started walking home. Two-Bit ripped up Marcia's number and threw it in the street. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He ran off to get drunk and look for a poker game. I was about to go home when I heard my mom screaming at my dad, so I told Pony that we should go to the lot. He laid there for a while under the tree by the fire pit. Ponyboy looked kinda sad so I laid next to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's 'cause we're greasers Pon. It might've hurt her reputation or something, that's all. Don't worry about it." I said trying to cheer him up a little bit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, I guess so..." He didn't sound any happier.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a second or two of silence I said, "That was a tuff car. Mustangs, they're tuff."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tough and tuff are two different words. Tough is like rough or strong. Tuff is cool. In our neighborhood, both are compliments.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Big time Socs alright. It's always the same." Ponyboy said as he went to sit by the fire.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I started thinking about how I was thinking about killing myself. The Socs were a part of it, too. They caused me a lot of trauma and killing myself seemed like a perfect idea. I decided to tell Ponyboy about those thoughts, because I was tired of keeping them to myself and he was the only one I trusted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I can't take much more of this Ponyboy," I said, "I'll kill myself or something."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Aw Johnny. Don't kill yourself." He said as he put his arm around my shoulders.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I gotta do something," I paused for a second, "It seems like there's got to be a place without greasers or Socs. Must be someplace with just plain ordinary people... just people..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's like that out in the country...."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ponyboy and I fell asleep. I was woken up by the chill of the wind going up my pant leg. I saw Pony still asleep and I woke him up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Pony... Pony wake up, man."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"God, what time is it?" He said in a voice that sounded half asleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't know. I went to sleep, too. You better get home. I'm gonna sleep out here. Nobody'll care anyway."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay, but if you get cold, come on to my house."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He mumbled something and then went home. I grabbed a huge pile of newspapers and tried to use them as a blanket, but I was still cold. I had barely fallen back to sleep when Ponyboy came running back and landed on me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Come on Johnny, we're running away."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>We ran for several blocks until we were both out of breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Take it easy Pony. We'll be alright, man. Just cool it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You got a cigarette, Johnny? I'm scared to death."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Don't be man, you're scaring me. What happened?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Darry hit me. I swear we used to get along just fine until Mom and Dad died, now he can't stand me,” he said, his voice trembling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> Pony's parents had died 8 months ago and the court let him and Soda stay with Darry as long as they behaved, but I never knew Darry to hit anyone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I think I like it better when the old man's hitting me.... at least he knows I'm there."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone in our neighborhood smokes, including me and Pony. I handed him a cigarette and took some deep breaths as I tried to calm down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Come on, let's walk to the park and back and maybe I'll be cool enough to go home." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>We walked to the park, which was a few blocks from where we were. It was super cold outside and I was glad I had my jean jacket on. I looked at Ponyboy and realized he only had a sweater with the sleeves cut off and a pair of jeans on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ain't you about to freeze to death?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You ain't a'woofin'."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>We walked over to the jungle gym to sit down and have a smoke. As we sat down, I noticed that there was a blue Mustang coming into the park. I had a sick feeling in my stomach and swallowed hard. I looked at Ponyboy. He did not seem as afraid as I did. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I took a deep breath and was determined to keep my cool. I was not gonna let them see how afraid I truly was. On the inside, however, I was crying like a baby and screaming like a little girl in a horror movie. My mind was racing and I couldn't focus until the Socs piled out in front of us. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, well, well. What do you guys know?" Bob said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ponyboy whispered, "They're drunk."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bob continued, "Aren't these the greasers that tried to pick up on our women?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You could hear my voice shake as I looked at them, "Hey, you're out of your territory. You guys better watch it!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No pal, you better watch it." Randy snapped at me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Socs stumbled around as me and Pony got down from the top of the jungle gym and took one last drag on our cigarettes before putting them out. Then Bob looked at us and nothing could have prepared me for what he was about to say.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>"You guys know what greasers are? White trash with long greasy hair."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I felt like I had gotten punched in the stomach. Being called a greaser was bad enough, but also being called white trash was like hitting below the belt. I couldn't think of anything to say or do. Bob threw whatever was in his flask at Ponyboy. Pony's face turned red and he said exactly what I was thinking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You know what a Soc is?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What?" Bob said as if he really cared what Ponyboy had to say.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"White trash with Mustangs and madras."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then Pony spit at him. I was surprised by Pony's courage to stand up to them, when he probably knew they could kill us without even trying. I heard Bob mumble some words and then scream.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"GET 'EM!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Socs chased us by the fountain in the middle of the park. 3 of them grabbed Pony and tried to drown him. The other 2 chased me until I fell. They kicked me and told me to stay down. Pony was fighting and screaming for me to run, but I was scared to move at all. They left me there and I watched as Bob, Randy, and one other was drowning Pony. They were killing him. I knew I had to do something or they would kill him and come after me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That is when the light bulb went off in my mind. I still had my switchblade in my back pocket. I swore I would hurt the next Soc who tried to hurt me, and they were doing just that to my best friend. I flicked out my blade and stood up. None of them saw me. They threw Pony on the ground, who at that point was unconscious. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bob turned around and tried to grab me, but I was already one step ahead. The second he turned around, I stabbed him. The other Socs ran away and Bob stumbled a few steps and then fell down and began to bleed out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I started mumbling to myself, "Oh my gosh. What did I just do?!? I killed him. He is dead and it's all my fault. He is bleeding out and I am to blame...."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>My imagination got a hold of me and I started to picture it. The Socs would go home and call the police. They would find me here and put me on trial and I would get the electric chair. Ponyboy would probably die where he was from all the water in his lungs. Nobody would care and I would be gone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I sat against the fountain and just stared at Bob for a while as the dark pool around him grew and I heard him gasp 3 times before the silence began. I looked at the knife. It was dark from handle to tip. I felt sick to my stomach, but not enough to puke. Suddenly I heard a gasp and looked over. Ponyboy was awake and he looked around and then at me. I could only say a few words…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I... I killed him.... I killed that boy.... killed him."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pony then got a confused look and then saw Bob laying there motionless with blood everywhere. His face began to turn green. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Johnny, I think I'm gonna be sick..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Don't worry man. I ain't gonna look at ya.... ain't gonna look at ya."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He walked over to another ride and puked behind it. After a minute, I got worried so I got up and walked over to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You alright?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You really did kill him," Ponyboy said shivering, "huh, Johnny."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah. I had to. They were drowning you. They might have killed you. They were gonna beat me up."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I sat on my knees and began to rub the blood from my hands off into the grass. I did the same with my switchblade.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What happened to the other guys?" Ponyboy was concerned that I may have killed them, and you could hear it in his voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"They all ran.... they all ran off when I stabbed him.... they all ran." I was trying to take deep breaths to calm myself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What are we gonna do now, Johnny?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We're gonna need Dally... for a plan... some money... and maybe a gun."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The thoughts from Bob's death kept me shaking along with the fact it was only like 45 degrees outside. Me and Pony made our way to Buck Meril's place. Dally hung around his parties, so we figured that is where he would be. We went up the steps and knocked on the door. Buck came to the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What do y'all want?" Buck was very obviously drunk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I spoke up first, "We need to see Dally."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He's busy." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I knew Buck was lying to us.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Just tell him it's Ponyboy and Johnny, man. He'll come!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I had met Buck before and I knew the only way Dally could get him to do anything, was to bully him. That is how a 17 year old Dally convinces a 25 year old Buck to do almost anything for him. Buck closed the door and went to get Dally. A few seconds later, Dally answered the door in only a pair of blue jeans. I was kinda afraid to tell Dally what I had done, so Pony did it for me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Johnny killed a Soc."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, good for you." Dally was being sarcastic, but I didn't notice it at the time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We figured you could get us out, if anyone could Dal. Sorry I got you out of this party." My voice was still shaking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Nah, it's okay. I was in the bedroom trying to get some sleep. I got in a fight with Tim Shepard and needed a place to blow over." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tim Shepard and his gang are also greasers and live not too far from us. Dally had slashed Tim's tires, so they were bound to fight sooner or later.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He grabbed Pony and told us to come inside. We walked up into the room where Dally was trying to sleep at. He rummaged through a drawer and told Pony to take his wet sweatshirt off. He threw him a towel and one of Buck's shirts. He dug through another dresser and handed me a loaded gun and $50.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Take the 3:15 to Windrixville," He said as he was smoking, "There's an abandoned church on top of Jay Mountain. There's a pump in the back so you don't have to worry about water. Buy a weeks supply of food as soon as you get there before the story gets out. Then don't so much as stick your noses out the door. Am I clear?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>We nodded and Pony threw on Buck's shirt and we left. The train was nearby so we waited for 3:15 to pull up. We jumped in an empty cart and waited until we were moving. Ponyboy fell asleep on my legs and I sat there. On the run from the cops, with a loaded gun in my hand.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>I didn't get one wink of sleep on that train ride. My legs fell asleep because of the fact Pony was laying on them. I woke him up just before we were supposed to jump off. In the grass that we landed on, he finally woke up. Since my legs were asleep, I sprained my ankle while jumping off. I found a good walking stick and we went on the search for Jay Mountain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a few minutes, I sent Ponyboy off to ask a farmer we saw where it was at. He came back quickly and said it was just up over that hill. It was old and boarded up. On the inside there were a lot of cobwebs and dust everywhere. We walked there and laid our stuff down and dozed off a little. I woke up and realized that I probably should go get the food before the story got out. I left Pony a message in the dirt,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Be back soon -JC"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I started on my long walk to the nearest store. As I walked down the dirt road, I felt alive for once in my life. My parents had beaten me to the point of being dead and now I felt alive. But walking alone when you are running from the law makes you paranoid. Every sound freaked me out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After 5 minutes of walking, I reached a one-horse store. I walked in and was shaking. I was trying to think of anything we may need for a week. I got one loaf of bread, a weeks supply of bologna, a jar of peanut butter, crackers, cigarettes, Pepsis, a deck of cards, a bar of soap, and candy bars. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As I was about to check out, I noticed they had a paperback copy of Gone With the Wind. I knew that Ponyboy always wanted one and I figured we could kill time by reading it. As I grabbed the book, I remembered one vital thing.... Peroxide. I figured we could bleach Pony's hair as a disguise. I paid for everything and headed back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When I got back to the church, I did the greaser "who's there?" whistle. I heard Pony reply back and out of nowhere, he fell in front of my feet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Fancy meeting you here,” he said as he fell on the ground.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I told him he was acting more and more like Two-Bit. Good ole' Two-Bit.... I showed him what I bought and of course, he noticed the Peroxide and got scared. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Peroxide?!? You ain't thinkin bout..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We're gonna cut our hair Ponyboy, and you're gonna bleach yours. They have our descriptions in the paper and we can't fit em."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He then went on to ask why I couldn't bleach my hair. I cocked an eyebrow and told him that I would NOT look good as a blond because of my dark skin complexion. We then fought for a few minutes and he finally gave me permission to start cutting his hair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After 10 minutes of cutting and 15 minutes of waiting for the peroxide to bleach his hair, we found a mirror and he saw what his hair would look like for a while. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Geez, this really makes me look tough," he said sarcastically with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I put the mirror down and handed him the knife. He cleaned it off and began to cut my hair. After it was cut, I used the bar of soap to wash the grease out of my hair. I then sat on the back porch and dried my hair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After it dried, we walked inside and Pony began to read Gone With the Wind. He even took the time to explain some of it to me. I may be 16, but I am only a sophomore in high school and Pony may be 14, but he is way smarter than me. He understands that sometimes I need things explained to understand them. My teachers just think I'm dumb and that is why I have failed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a while, we just sat there next to the furnace, which was giving us the heat. I looked at Ponyboy and he was tearing up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm still tired," he said, his voice quivering.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Look, I'm sorry I cut your hair off Ponyboy."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Nah, it aint that, its just.... I don't know, I'm all mixed up," he threw the candy bar he was eating across the room. I could tell something was bugging him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, I know," I said trying to reassure him, "Things have been happening so fast."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I looked at Pony and put my arm around his shoulders to comfort him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You know that one-horse store this morning? I was thinking Two-Bit coulda walked out with half that thing. Good ole Two-Bit." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>My mind started to remember home. Not the home where I was beat up every time I turned around, the home with Two-Bit, Soda, Darry, Dally, and Steve. The home where Dally was always going to jail and Soda worked at the DX with Steve. That home was the one I was missing. Not the home with the drunken mother and the abusive dad. I never wanted to go back to that home. Ponyboy cut into my thoughts and only made me more upset.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Remember how he was wise crackin last night? Just last night we were walking Cherry and Marcia home from the movies. Just last night we were laying in the lot looking up at the stars."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I felt my anger and frustration boil over, "Stop it man, will you just shut up about last night?! I killed a kid last night. He couldn't have been more than 17 or maybe 18 years old and I killed him. How would you like to live with that, huh?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Johnny...." Ponyboy was crying like I wish that I could.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I didn't mean to..... they were drowning you......I didn't know what to do."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ponyboy came beside me and sat down. I began to think about last night. The fear that forced me to kill Bob. The pain that the Soc's constant trouble caused me. The suicidal thoughts that kept me quiet and reserved to myself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"There sure is a lot of blood inside of people," I said as I remembered the guilt that came along with watching Bob lay there, bleeding out. Gasping and finally dying right in front of me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What are we gonna do?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I felt another rage coming and couldn't withhold it, "Aw. It's all my fault for bringing a 13 year old kid along. You might as well go home, Ponyboy. You can't get in any trouble, I mean you didn't go on and kill him!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pony was crying and screaming his frustration out as well, "NO! I'm 14, I've been 14 for a month and I'm in this just as much as you are... I'll stop crying in a minute... I can't help it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I felt so bad that I had just screamed at my best friend in the whole world. I was so tired and frustrated that I had to do something... Now he probably hates me like he hates Darry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I slowly walked over to Pony, putting an arm around him like I always see Soda doing, "Aww, I didn't mean it like that Ponyboy. Hey, don't cry. Don't cry man.... We're gonna be alright.... We'll be just fine...."</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>After that, things were kinda sad. I started to walk around the back of the church. It reminded me of a church that Ponyboy took me to a few years ago. We had brought everyone from the gang except for Darry. Steve, Soda, and Two-Bit had started fighting and dropped a hymn book on the ground. Everyone started to stare at us. Me and Pony hid under the pew and Two-Bit waved at them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The rest of the day was spent by listening to Gone With the Wind and playing poker. By the time we stopped playing, Ponyboy owed me $150.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was starting to get dark. I lit a candle that we found for some light. Pony grabbed Gone With the Wind, and started to read it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“………Men who rode gaily into sure disaster because they were gallant.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I was sitting there, making a perfect smoke bubble and eating a bologna sandwich.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gallant…. Cool ole guys remind me of Dally.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dally, my hero. He seemed so tuff to me. He never seemed afraid or sad. Always tough looking. Sure there were some things that I didn’t like, but I looked up to him. He always treated me like a little brother and I loved him for that. If I had to some him up into 1 word, it would be gallant. So brave and heroic. Like a superhero in greaser clothes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Only then did I realize that I zoned out on what Pony was saying, “Just go on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He finished that chapter and we both felt tired. Ponyboy fell asleep on the floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I laid down on a broken chair, and dozed off. I woke up and realized the sun wasn't even up yet, but I was already too awake to fall back asleep. I looked around the room and didn't see Ponyboy, so I assumed he was already up. I walked out the back door to see the sunrise, since the back faced East. Ponyboy was already standing there. I went and stood behind Ponyboy, as I admired the colors.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Golly, that was sure pretty. It's like the mist is what's pretty, you know. All gold and silver. Too bad it can't stay like that all the time." I said, accidentally scaring Pony. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Nothing gold can stay." He said, which confused me a lot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Huh?" I replied, still confused by his last statement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Nature's first green is gold, her hardest hue to hold. Her early leaf's a flower, but only so an hour. Then leaf subsides to leaf, so Eden sank to grief. So dawn goes down to day, nothing gold can stay"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Where'd you learn that? That's what I meant," I was serious. He said exactly what I was thinking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Robert Frost wrote it. I always remembered it, 'cause I never quite knew what he meant." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You know, I never noticed the colors and clouds and stuff 'til you kept reminding me about 'em. Kinda like they were never there before."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah. I don't think I could ever tell Steve or Two-Bit, or even Darry about the clouds 'n sunset. Just you and Sodapop. Maybe Cherry Valance."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>We both knew that as fact. None of the other boys felt things the way that me and Pony did. Sodapop could understand how we felt, but I never knew if he felt things like us. I didn't understand what he meant by adding Cherry to the end of it. Then again, he was walking with her on the way home, not me. Maybe they had talked about stuff like that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I guess we're different, huh."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shoot, man. Maybe they are," Ponyboy said with a smile</span>
</p><p>
  <span>We walked back in the church. Pony fell asleep on a pew. I laid down on another pew, I sorta heard a car in the background, but I figured I was hearing things. The next thing I know, I hear footsteps up to the door and into the church.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey blondie! Wake up," he said, pulling on Pony's newly bleached hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey Dal. How you been?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Johnny, man."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Me and Pony then started firing off a million questions that had been running through our minds since we got to Windrixville. He said to stop asking stuff, and if we wanted something to eat, since he was starving.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>You're</span>
  </em>
  <span> starved, try bologna for 4 days," I said trying to lighten the mood. Me and Pony had been sorta depressed the past few days.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dally is asking me for a cigarette. I throw him one and he cusses good naturally because it's not a Kool. I was sitting there, rubbing my eyes and still trying to wake up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pony and Dallas were talking, but I was still half asleep and didn't fully hear what they were saying. I finally woke up and heard Dallas say that he had tricked the police into thinking that we were headed for Texas, when really, we were only an hour away from Tulsa.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After he made fun of Pony's new blonde look, we hopped in Buck Meril's thunderbird and started down the road. Dallas was driving at 85 mph. I thought we were going to veer off the road because Dallas was also messing around and taking both hands off the wheel. Sometimes I wonder why I even got in the car with Dally, but I trusted him for some strange reason.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>We drove for what seems like forever and finally reached a Dairy Queen. He ordered us some barbecue sandwiches and we scarfed them down like they were going out of style. I was just so glad to see some food other than bologna for once. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After about an hour, when our food was completely devoured, my stomach started to hurt. Dallas went on with telling us about how Tim Shepard's gang, The Bumbly Boys, and our outfit were gonna have it out with the Socs at the vacant lot tomorrow night. I knew he was gonna hurt those Socs for me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I flashed back to earlier this week, "Now that I'm out, I'm gonna make it my business to get the guy who did that to your face." I couldn't help but smile a little bit. He went on to say that Cherry would testify that the Socs were drunk and they were the ones looking for a fight, and me and Pony fought back strictly in self defence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We're gonna head back and we're gonna turn ourselves in," I said after thinking about what Dally had said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dally looked at me like I said something so incredulous that he couldn't understand it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I've got a good chance of being let off easy. It was self defence, you just said Ponyboy and Cherry can testify to that. And I won't say that you helped us and I'll give you back that gun so you won't get in any trouble Dal," I would hate for Dally to get in trouble again and have to go back to jail when he just got out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You sure?" Dally said like I was gonna change my mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I'm sure. Man it ain't fair for Darry and Soda to be worryin' about Ponyboy all the time. I don't guess my folks are worried about me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Man, the boys are worried. You know that Two-Bit wanted to go to Texas to hunt for you?!" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That really struck me, but Two-Bit was not a top priority for me to really care that he wanted to do that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Dally I asked if my parents were worried about me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was my main concern. Were they even worried about me? Did they not care that one day I didn't come home and was gone this week?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, they didn't ask about you. Do you think my old man gives a hang whether I'm dead in a car wreck, or drunk, or in jail or something? He doesn't care! But that don't bother me none."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dally had hardened himself to not caring. To be completely honest, it was killing me on the inside. Knowing that my parents probably don't even notice that I'm gone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He started to mumble something under his breath and we started to drive back to the church. Whether it was to pack up and head back, or to prepare for another week in Windrixville, I didn't know.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Dally was giving me a lecture on how jail changes you, but I wasn't listening to him. I was more focused on the church and fantasizing about Gone With the Wind. All of the sudden, I hear faint screams and I look up to see the church is on fire. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I was paralyzed with fear like I had been when the Socs pulled up behind us. When all of the sudden, Ponyboy and his stupid self had ran into the church. Dallas was cursing at him to come back, but he was already trying to pry the wood off a window. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>My instincts took over, I was going in there after him to save the kids that were trapped inside. We broke through a window and climbed inside the smoke-filled church.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fire and smoke filled the rooms. I heard the kids screaming from the back, so I headed that way. They were all huddled in the back corner. I knew I should've been feeling terrified, but I had this huge grin on my face. I didn't know exactly why, but I couldn't stop. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I picked up one kid, and handed it to Dally, who had busted a window out in the corner. Me and Pony just kept handing him the kids. The smile never left my face.  Pony climbed out and his sleeve was on fire so Dally was putting it out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I needed some help to get out, but Dal was busy. The next thing I know, I can't feel anything below my waist. Something is burning me all over my body. I am screaming for help. Dally comes and pulls me out. Then everything goes black. Suddenly I am in the lot again with Ponyboy looking up at the stars. We are pointing about constellations and laughing at nothing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I wake up in a place that I don't know surrounded by people I have never met who are hovering over my face. Rubbing stuff on my skin, which I notice is mostly gone. Tears well up in my eyes and I realize that I still can't feel anything below my belly button. I feel like I am trapped in a nightmare and can't get out. I look around and don't know what to say to anyone. Anything could set off my tears and then I would be a mess in front of strangers. I look up and see a nice nurse and ask her politely where I am. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh my, Johnny. You're awake! You are in the hospital and you have 3rd degree burns from the neck down to your feet. You broke your back at the bottom and probably will never walk again. We thought you weren't gonna wake up, but you did, so your chances are looking very good." She was truly shocked that I was even opening my eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What? I... just... I wanna see Ponyboy. Where's Dally? Is he okay?" I said in a panic state.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Just slow down. You can't have any visitors right now, but I can tell you that Dallas is alright. He was asking about you, too. He is a few rooms down the hall and has a severe burn on his arm, but will be okay and released in a few days. You on the other hand will have to be here for quite some time. Your burns need to heal, you will need to go to rehab to adjust to your new wheelchair... but that isn't for a while," She started staring off into space. She was nice, but didn't seem to know what "sugar coating" was. I mean I am only 16....</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I felt my heart start to race and I felt weak. The blackness returned. This time I was in the lot, flashing back to the day I got jumped. This time I had no feelings, no fright, no pain, sorta like an out of the body experience. I was floating above myself. Very VERY confused. I have no idea what that was. But suddenly it was gone as quickly as it came. I was laying there once again with that nurse putting a cold rag on my forehead. As I came to, she sighed and looked at me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I guess I shouldn't have thrown all that info at you. You just need to take it easy for a while. Now we are gonna flip you over to your stomach so you can be more comfortable. We are gonna have a mirror underneath you so you can see any visitors that may come by," She was really concerned about me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Fine.... Can you please call my friend for me? I really want him to come by."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I missed Ponyboy and I really needed someone to talk to. She denied my request, but said that I was allowed to have visitors tomorrow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They helped me flip myself to my stomach. It was more comfortable than you would think. I laid there and mainly just looked at my arms. They were very burned. I can’t believe that my arms could ever be that color. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Every hour, Dallas’ nurse would come and rub something on them to help them heal without becoming infected. I was mostly tired, and not much in pain. I was able to fall asleep and wake up the next morning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I woke up and the nurse flipped me over so I could eat some breakfast. The food was horrible and I almost threw it up, but somehow I was able to keep it down. I asked to be moved back onto my stomach so I would be more comfortable. She flipped me over and I realized how crappy my life would be if I made it out of here. That was what the nurses used. “if  his burns heal”, “if he survives”.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That frightened me a little bit. I figured that sometime I may not wake up from my fainting spells. Nobody except for Ponyboy would truly care that I died anyway. I kinda liked the idea. Seemed easier than committing suicide. I continued to ask each person who walked into my room if Ponyboy was here yet. I knew he would come, but I wasn’t patient enough for him to take his time coming. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>2 hours after eating breakfast and laying there examining my arms again, I heard my nurse point out my room to someone. I heard footsteps and looked at the mirror. It was Ponyboy and Two-Bit. My heart filled with joy to see them. I thought they would never come!  But I couldn’t really show how truly excited I was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Johnny.” Two-Bit said, looking at my face in the mirror.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey y’all.” That was about as enthusiastic I could be without risking passing out</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How they treating you? Got your picture in the paper for being a hero. Look at that,” I never did answer his question, but he put a newspaper on my mirror with the headline 'Delinquents turn heroes after daring fire rescue’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, that’s tuff enough.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Guess you can look at it later. You want anything?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Only one thing came to mind, I wanted a new copy of Gone With the Wind for Pony to read to me. “A book, man. Can y’all get me another one?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Two-Bit looked confused and looked to Ponyboy for the answer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think he wants a copy of Gone With the Wind, so I can read it to him,” Ponyboy said with the sound of him choking up at the sight of me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Two-Bit must’ve gone to a store to get one, because he left and didn’t come back for a while. Meanwhile, Pony stayed behind and talked with me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, I guess Dallas’ gonna be okay. Me and Darry, we’re getting along real good now,” He said trying to say anything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I flinched in pain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Johnny, are you okay?” Pony sounded concerned so I had to say something to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. It just hurts sometimes. Usually don’t cause I can’t feel anything below the middle of my back. I’m pretty bad off, aint I, Ponyboy?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah you’re gonna be alright, kid. You gotta be. Couldn’t get along without ya.” He said, trying to hold back tears.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I won’t be able to walk again. Not even on crutches. Doc says I busted my back.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It didn’t sound real until I said it myself. Reality set in. I will never be able to walk again. Maybe not even leave my own home, which is worse than dying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re gonna be just fine. I know you are,” He said, trying to reassure me that I was gonna be okay, when I know for a fact that I’m not.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You wanna know something Ponyboy? I used to talk about killing myself all the time. Man, I don’t wanna die now. It aint long enough. Sixteen years aint gonna be long enough. I wouldn’t mind it so much if there wasn’t so much stuff I ain't done yet. So many damn things I aint seen or nothing. That time we were up in Windrixville, was the only time I’ve ever been away from our neighborhood.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I had to confess all of that stuff. My nurses would’ve thought I was crazy, so Ponyboy had to know.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Knock it off. If you get too juiced up, the doc won’t let us see you anymore,” He said, stepping out of the way for the nurse to come and talk to me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Johnny, your mother’s here to see you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>My heart sank, “I don’t wanna see her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Johnny, it’s your mother.” She said in a sweet convincing voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I said I don’t wanna see her. She probably just wants to come and tell me about all the trouble I’m causing. Why don’t you just tell her to leave me…..”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The blackness returned. I passed out. Worth it…. That was better than seeing my no-good, drunk, abusive mother who probably would’ve killed me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This time was different when I passed out, I could see everything going on in any place I wanted to see. It was freedom from my physically paralyzed body that lay in that room passed out. I wandered over to Dally’s room and watched as Two-Bit and Pony went in there. He even asked about me. I felt so happy that he cared. That’s all I ever wanted, besides him being proud of me, which he was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I couldn’t hear all that well, but I managed to make out what he was saying for a while.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We got even with those Socs. We gotta do it for Johnny, man. We’ll do it for Johnny.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That grin that I couldn’t get rid of in the church was back. They were gonna do it for me. That was all I wanted to see. The blackness disappeared and I was on my back. My nurse was huddled over me with a worried look. When I asked her what happened, she gave me the whole truth. Why couldn’t she sugar coat anything?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well you passed out after ranting about your mother. I told your friends to leave so you could rest. They wanted me to give you this. For a minute or two, your heart stopped. I thought you had died, but now you are awake, I see I was wrong.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I had died. For a good chunk of time, I was dead. That scared the living daylights out of me. I don’t want to die! I mean I used to, but I don’t want to anymore! My stomach got in knots and I refused to eat lunch. I knew if I ate, I would throw it back up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After I had to explain that I wasn’t gonna eat lunch for the 3rd time, a soft knock came on my door and in ran a little girl. Her parents followed behind her. She looked up at me and was excitedly pointing at me and saying,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That was the guy who pulled me out, mommy!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her grandparents took her out of the room and her parents were looking at me with smiles on their faces.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We saw you were in the hospital and we wanted to come by and personally thank you for saving my little Abigail. She would’ve surely died, if not for you,” Her father said in a thankful voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. We would have been devastated and hurt for the rest of our lives. You are our hero, although this is our first time meeting. You feel like family to us. If you need anything, ever, just let us know and we will be there.” Her mom added.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The loved me like a son. That is what love feels like. They felt like the parents I never had. For once, I felt okay about my life. I know it was worth saving those little kids. Even if I did end up dead. It was truly worth it. The parents took some pictures and left. I felt worse after they left. Good in my soul, but still felt bad physically. I called my doctor in to see what was going on.  He ran some tests and looked over me. A few hours later, as the sun was going down, he came into my room and shut the door. He looked at me and his face turned red.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you take anything I tell you? I don’t want you to pass out again, Johnny.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will survive. I think I can take it doc,” I braced myself, I knew what he was about to say.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Johnny,” His voice choked up, “I gotta be honest. You’re dying. I really don’t think you’ll make it through the night.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just then, he left and Dallas came in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Johnny, man. I heard the doc just now. I was just about to leave for the rumble. I will be back after it's over, you gotta live until then, man,” even he was about to cry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dally…. bring Ponyboy….” I felt extremely weak, but I knew exactly what I wanted to do before I died.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I asked the nurse to bring me a piece of paper and a pen. I was gonna write a letter to Ponyboy and leave it for him. It took me a while, but I wrote a heartfelt letter to Ponyboy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ponyboy,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I asked the nurse to give you this book so you could finish it. The doctor came in a while ago, but I already knew. I keep getting tireder and tireder. Listen, I don’t mind dying now. It’s worth it. It’s worth saving those little kids. Their lives are worth more than mine, they have so much more to live for. Some of their parents came by to thank me and I know it’s worth it. Tell Dally it’s worth it. I’m just gonna miss you guys. I’ve been thinking and that poem, that guy that wrote it, he meant you’re gold when you’re a kid, like green. When you’re a kid everything’s new, dawn. It’s just when you get used to everything that it’s day. Like the way you dig sunsets, Pony. That’s gold. Keep that way, it’s a good way to be. I want you to tell Dally to look at one. He’ll probably think you’re crazy, but ask for me. I don’t think he’s ever really seen a sunset. And don’t be so bugged over being a greaser. You still have a ton of time to make yourself what you want. There’s still good in the world. Tell Dally. I don’t think he knows.</span>
</p><p>     <span>Your buddy,</span></p><p>     <span>Johnny</span></p><p>
  <span>I folded it neatly and stuck it in the middle of Gone With the Wind. I then asked the nurse to make sure that after I passed, that he got the book. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After that, I just laid there and tried to keep calm so that I would be alive that night. Focusing on the goal. Right when I thought I couldn’t survive, Dally and Pony came through the door. I smiled when I saw them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We beat the Socs, Johnny, Chased ‘em right out of our neighborhood,” Dallas said, very proud.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I felt like I could only say one more sentence, so I chose my words wisely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ponyboy,” I said as loud as I could, “S-s-stay gold, Ponyboy. Stay gold.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I gave in to death. I took one last breath and my head turned to face Dallas and I died.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After death, I was able to float around for a while. I watched Dallas break down because I was the only thing he loved. I saw Ponyboy’s stunned face and depression and disbelief that I was dead. I saw Dallas knock off the store with a gun that wasn’t loaded. I saw the gang’s reaction when Pony went home and told them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I saw Dallas gunned down by the cops. I saw him take his last breath and I was the first to greet him in front of heaven’s gates. We watched as Pony passed out and then we walked into the light. He had his arm on my shoulder. I felt at peace. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I can’t interact with anyone on Earth anymore, but I can feel when anyone talks to me. I watched as my funeral went on and so many people were in tears. They truly loved me. I watched as my parents moved far, far away. I watched as Pony went off to college and came home to visit my grave and cry. I wish Ponyboy all the best in everything. I even became his guardian angel along with his parents. He thinks of me often, and I never stop thinking about him. I hope he knows he will meet me one day again where we will spend eternity together with Dally, Bob, and his parents.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Epilogue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It has been 5 years since I died. Pony and Cherry have gotten together and make such a cute couple. Randy and Marcia got married 2 years ago and currently are expecting their first child, a baby boy they plan to name Robert Johnathan Alderson. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ponyboy is now 19 and a junior in college. He still lives at home and works at the DX with Steve when he is not at school. He still reads his theme every now and again to think of the happier times when his loved ones were still alive. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>On the year anniversary of me and Dally’s death, Soda was killed in war after being drafted. Pony still cries about everyone’s death. Sandy moved back to town after her baby, Patrick, was born and tries to make a living as a single mother. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Two-Bit got kicked out of his home and he now lives with Darry. Darry still works at the roofing place and tries to support him and Two-Bit. Pony and Cherry still watch the sunset and that is where most of their dates take place. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Buck Merril died a few weeks ago from alcohol poisoning and so far, nobody misses him. Steve and Evie broke up, and so far, neither of them have found someone else. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Me, Dally, Bob, Soda, and Ponyboy’s parents are looking down on them and we miss them just as much as they miss us, but we know they will be up here with us someday.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ponyboy is planning to propose to Cherry any day now and I wish them the best in their relationship.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>